One of my coaching niches is mindfulness coaching. This supports the client to cultivate a state of awareness and of mind that is about touching and living in the present moment. It is also about cultivating ways to let go of the mind’s habit to think about the past or the future or any other place than the present.
Examples of being absent by living in the past:
If the client talks habitually about many things they have said before, this is one clue that they are living in the past. Though they may already have structures in place that have been co-creatively designed with the coach to effect positive change and transformation, they may still dwell on the original issue rather than the successes they have achieved. It’s not “good enough.” This is being absent from what is going on now—that changes have occurred and the issue is different now than it was before.
A coach I know reported this observation about her client:
“One comment from my Reiki practitioner client is, ‘even when I do the things that are right, things don’t go the way I want them to”. This of course comes back to being in the moment, and not being attached to an outcome. I ask her ‘Who’s ‘right’ is it you are doing?’ If you are being present, and centered, how is the outcome not right? As opposed to what her expectations are.” –Sanne Berrig/Coach
The coach has employed the present vs. absent tool in this context with the use of the questions posed here. The coach has highlighted an additional insight and value associated with this power tool—staying focused on the present without being attached to the outcome.
This is a higher-level awareness and one that may be challenging for many clients to adopt as a focus. This focus can be a powerful technique in living fully here and now and most importantly, feeling and finding satisfaction and enjoyment in life.
Doing now but letting go of the outcome is an important practice in mindfulness based coaching and actually a part of any powerful coaching because it is helping the client to observe their present state of grace and enjoy life as it is.
When a client keeps returning to past issues, not only are the living outside of the present moment, but it is an indication that they may need to be referred to a therapist or a counselor. If they cannot move forward and let go of past issues, invite them to consider an alternate or additional source of professional support.
It may be that the coach can help the client by uncovering UAC’s and by uprooting and resolving their hold, bring the client into the present.
Moving a client forward through a simple effective question can help bring them into a state of being present. A question such as, “Are you aware of the momentum you have built around this? Tell me about that?” or “What is different now since we began focusing on this issue?” Support the client in recognizing the truth of what is happening now and help them be more present within themselves and celebrate their wins.
Example of being absent by living in the future:
A client may have a desire to calm themselves and tone down the noise of their minds. Though they have made progress, their language can identify a fixation on some perfection that is not attained yet (in the future). They may say things like, “My dream of being centered and quiet seems so far away” or “I don’t know if this is ever going to be something I can hold onto because my life is overwhelming and complicated. I have so much going on in the next few weeks.”
Many clients will say things like “I’ll be happy when…” This is another example of living in a future state. Setting daily goals and shifting the perspective to the present through powerful questions will build present state of mind awareness. We are all more content when we can celebrate our small wins rather than focusing on the perfection over the hill.
Support the client in experiencing the success they have achieved and bring them right into the present state. Ask them to stop and take notice of what is going on right now. Observe the breath. Look around. What do they see, feel, smell, hear and taste? Something as simple as turning the focus on the senses and on the body can bring the client into the present immediately. Help them relax by asking them what will help them to do so. Simple questions like “How are you feeling right now?” or “What can we do to calm the mind now?” can pull the client into the present instantaneously.
Daily Acknowledgement Tools & Tips:
Some ways that you can support your client to adopt a present mindset:
•Morning Pages—In Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way, morning pages are described as three pages of writing (long hand) each morning about anything that comes to your head. Julia reports that just as you feel refreshed when you step out of the shower, your mind, heart and soul will feel refreshed after writing the morning pages. It is a way to get the junk out of the system, clear yourself and begin each day fresh and ready for the miracle of life to unfold before you.
•Gratitude journals—Spend a few minutes each day writing down everything in your life that you are grateful for right now. It could be as simple as noticing the blue sky, even that you are taking time to acknowledge yourself.
•Develop a mindfulness practice—Ten minutes a day focusing the mind, quieting the mind, observing the breath and the body is a powerful tool for cultivating the ability to stay focused in the present moment.
•Cultivate Forgiveness—Don’t expect yourself to be perfectly present and in the now each moment! It’s normal to drift and move in and out of the time zones of the mind. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself when you find yourself wandering away and gracefully lead your own self back to center.
Support the client by acknowledging and celebrating everything they are doing right now–including the coaching call they are having with you right this second! This is a great way to help them connect to themselves now and appreciate who they are in the present moment.
Copyright © 2007 Lisa Jo Landsberg
